Worst Fear
by kinbari-nico-ru-maikeru
Summary: (one shot) After Kagome leaves the group at the end of the quest, Inuyasha contemplates his thoughts about her and Kikyou... and realizes his worst fear.


**Worst Fear**

****

By Kinbari Nico-ru Maikeru 

*~* 

I think I hate you. You leave nearly every week, crying about your little 'exams' and leaving us without a shard detector... But that's not the only reason I think I hate you. It's what you did last night that's making me hate you. You didn't even give me a chance to speak... You just did what you pleased... And left... You left Miroku... Sango... Shippou... 

And most of all, me. You're not even thinking of how I'm taking this, are you? You're probably with those friends of yours in your era, totally forgetting the hanyou... Erm, I mean, the group of friends you left behind. I know the jewel's complete... I know Kikyou's expecting me to leave to Hell soon... I _know_ you think you don't belong here... But... _Damn it_. I wanted to see you fight me to stay living. I wanted to see you tell me what you felt for me. I wanted... I wanted to see you say these things to make me want to stay. 

All you did was make me want to leave. If _you_ of all people could just as easily forget me... What purpose do I have here? I don't know how I felt for you. There, I'm being honest. I really don't. You're an enigma, so many different facets that I can't understand even one without you showing me another side of you. 

_Flashback_

__

_I had my eyes closed... I must've seemed asleep, because you seemed to slide closer and closer to me... Until you were nearly in my lap. I could smell the fear and nervousness emitting from you as you did the most unbelievable thing to me. You rose up to look me in the face... And you pressed your lips onto mine in a chaste kiss. As soon as you did it, you pulled away. I could smell the surprise from you as you gasped._

_"_Inuyasha... I hope you're not awake..."_ You said. _"I know you're leaving to **her** tomorrow... I can't see that... But, I do want you to know.... Even if you're asleep..."_ You stood up, not noticing me open one eye to look at you. Your beautiful face was slacken in tiredness and sadness. "_I love you, Inuyasha." 

__

_End of Flashback_

__

__Why did you do that to me? You kept me awake the rest of the night, contemplating why you left after telling me... And then it was like a kick to the head.... Or, if you prefer, a 'sit' to the hanyou... You didn't want to think about me leaving. You loved me so much you'd have someone else take me... You'd rather have me happy than have my love in return*. It broke my heart. 

I look around my surroundings now, no one nearby, what with the bouzo and Sango's 'wedding' at Kaede-baba's village. I'm in the Goshinboku. Suddenly, the wavering scent of you and of... Of Kikyou drifted to my nose. I knew it was Kikyou, though. Bones and dirt overrode the sweet scent of you. I ran out of my tree, and reached her. Kikyou looked even more sad than ever. 

"Inuyasha, it's time," she spoke. I look back to the village. "Don't worry about them... They don't understand us... They won't." I look back at the deceased miko in front of me. I feel my heart clench. Is it love towards Kikyou... Or guilt to you? I lower my gaze. 

I'd rather be in Hell than stay here... Waiting for you, if you ever _do_ come back. With how you've spoken before, I don't think you'd ever return. But... 

No, I can't have any hope to see you... Because I don't want to see you... Because I know if I see you again, I will have to break my promise to Kikyou... I can't do that... 

I don't want to see you cry, Kagome... Don't cry for me... 

Because to see you cry... It's my worst fear. 

*~* 

_This was based on the Rascal Flatts' song, "My Worst Fear". I thought it fit the Inuyasha - Kagome - Kikyou situation pretty well. Before anyone asks, I believe truly that Inuyasha will _NOT_ go to Kagome at the end of the series, however much I want him to. He seems to be the type to not back down from a promise._

__**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairytale or 'My Worst Fear' by Rascal Flatts. 


End file.
